I’m so good at adopting people’s pain and treat it as my own new born. So good at fitting in others’ shoes, that I can walk a mile against their enemies. Standing tall in the light of my arrogance, I chase the ghosts from their past of horror. My speech of wisdom dries the tears falling from their red eyes and this witty joke I serve at the very end of my lecture even brings the smile back on their faces. Glory to the cheerleader!
But then I see you break down like a sad porcelain doll. You just hit the edge of the height and fall.
My princess… I don’t have the power to fix you. I don’t have the heart to see you in pieces.
Once again, I step aside and watch him putting things back together.
My beautiful princess… Your eyes seem so scratched! Your knees seem so weakly attached – how would you stand back up on your own two feet? What should I do? Should I scream at his face for turning you into a rag…Should I thank him, since he’s still the only one who can fix you wrong?
And it’s not so bad, since you are still my lovely princess, my fine doll of grace. And I’ve learned some time ago, that my eyes only serve my blindness given by birth, so I simply erase the obvious cracks.
How about you, darling? How about you? Yet the winds of changes blow straight through those invisible crevices and freeze you from the inside. Even the lightest seasonal rain fills you up like a cup trying to hold a sea and cold waters spill out of your inner capacity.
He promises to buy an umbrella…better yet, a doll house for Barbie and Ken! He’d buy a plastic car and wish for plastic kids, as pretty as promised on the plastic cover of them consumer boxes. I admire Mr.Ken, he fucking believes he Can!
But you are not some blonde bitch destined to live in Disneyland where KEN-dies and fun never end…of course, paid!
You are my gorgeous princess of rare porcelain. You are one precious doll of vintage glam – reminding them ladies why family and moral come first. Beautiful as a real girl, fragile as a glass statue, you are the most of a collection… and he knows that too…
And by nature you are not made to be played with. You are not created for some games!
Should I scream at his face for letting you down so many times or should I step aside and watch him redrawing you lips in color?
I wish I could fix you, but I can’t …
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Refuse to live by chances, I'd rather pay for choices!
This morning - I knew I loved you before I met you...Savage!
Unsolved cold case, that's all your death is. Today, the tag from your folder pops out in my day dream. I see a curvy feminine silhouette coming closer from across the hall. Just like a boomerang of past emotion, I've lusted after for a while, your shadow hits mine. My body resists the movment, staying calm in the face of temptation. And it's not because of fear, I'm just training my brains. Is it you? Silently, I'm waiting the sun to move a bit higher and further, so your shadow may merge into mine.
But here's the feeling, right in fornt of my face...right where it all started back at one gone day. Is it really you? A dead case with wide open eyes fixing the thrill. We are getting too close in a dance, but I can feel it's really me who's living the vertigo...again. Step back. Repeating myself, it's not fear, it's just a little bit late. And the more we stay, the more I recognize you from the grave. Recreating the crime scene: age,sex,location - everything's the same. Would it all turn wrong again? Remember? An innocent dance and a great emberassing fall. Back at the days, I longed to save you, but instead I cut open my chest. Result: I burried you with bleeding heart, feeling half dead... But I ain't Juliet, I came back from the dark, realizing it was a fool's game to poison myself.
Remember? I tried to save you...To save you from your past, the misery of the present and preserve you for a greater future...naive little Juliet.
Is it really you? Is it a Deja Vu? Should I try to save you...again?
Life gives me a chance to do it right this time. Isn't that what we call magic - the power to turn back the hands of time, just to erease the very end and get back to the start... without any burning memories...doing it right with an unknown wisdom gained from undone wrongs. May be I am that one in a million soul, who gets this pure second chance. A chance to do it right...
I have a chance, it is my choice!
It's all clear! Now I know, it ain't fear! My mind is grown, my wisdom is solid, my present is now. I don't want to forget! I double the doses of my memory pills and swallow them with cold water. I must never forget. I should always remember. You hit me! You open my chest! You watched me bleed till I faint. I woke up on my own! I crawled on my own knees back to the daylight. There were my lungs learning to breath while displaying a scopic inner view through my opened-self. It was me, half dead, throwing soil on a grave of a man in a great health. I was the one who died before I managed to burry you alive. I forgive, but I should never forget!
Wisdom comes with the pain...I'm not stepping ahead. You are dead.
Now - I am all evoleved and fully grown with 3 Dimentions of my own...Airborne!
Case closed!
Unsolved cold case, that's all your death is. Today, the tag from your folder pops out in my day dream. I see a curvy feminine silhouette coming closer from across the hall. Just like a boomerang of past emotion, I've lusted after for a while, your shadow hits mine. My body resists the movment, staying calm in the face of temptation. And it's not because of fear, I'm just training my brains. Is it you? Silently, I'm waiting the sun to move a bit higher and further, so your shadow may merge into mine.
But here's the feeling, right in fornt of my face...right where it all started back at one gone day. Is it really you? A dead case with wide open eyes fixing the thrill. We are getting too close in a dance, but I can feel it's really me who's living the vertigo...again. Step back. Repeating myself, it's not fear, it's just a little bit late. And the more we stay, the more I recognize you from the grave. Recreating the crime scene: age,sex,location - everything's the same. Would it all turn wrong again? Remember? An innocent dance and a great emberassing fall. Back at the days, I longed to save you, but instead I cut open my chest. Result: I burried you with bleeding heart, feeling half dead... But I ain't Juliet, I came back from the dark, realizing it was a fool's game to poison myself.
Remember? I tried to save you...To save you from your past, the misery of the present and preserve you for a greater future...naive little Juliet.
Is it really you? Is it a Deja Vu? Should I try to save you...again?
Life gives me a chance to do it right this time. Isn't that what we call magic - the power to turn back the hands of time, just to erease the very end and get back to the start... without any burning memories...doing it right with an unknown wisdom gained from undone wrongs. May be I am that one in a million soul, who gets this pure second chance. A chance to do it right...
I have a chance, it is my choice!
It's all clear! Now I know, it ain't fear! My mind is grown, my wisdom is solid, my present is now. I don't want to forget! I double the doses of my memory pills and swallow them with cold water. I must never forget. I should always remember. You hit me! You open my chest! You watched me bleed till I faint. I woke up on my own! I crawled on my own knees back to the daylight. There were my lungs learning to breath while displaying a scopic inner view through my opened-self. It was me, half dead, throwing soil on a grave of a man in a great health. I was the one who died before I managed to burry you alive. I forgive, but I should never forget!
Wisdom comes with the pain...I'm not stepping ahead. You are dead.
Now - I am all evoleved and fully grown with 3 Dimentions of my own...Airborne!
Case closed!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
The BOYlesque Teeser
A peep show for all my foot fetish lovers, by the very talanted DUKE LAFAYETTE:
JOSEPHINE BAKER
How Josephine Baker Helped Save Post-War French Fashion
by Lesley M. M. Blume, The Huffington Post
" Some style icons never go out of fashion, and Josephine Baker is one of them. Thanks to her chocolate-colored skin, Baker was a second-class citizen in her native America -- but on the stages of 1920s Paris, she became the toast of the continent, even receiving some 1,500 marriage proposals.
Today most people remember this performer for her dances at the Folies-Bergère, in which she wore nothing but a string of bananas draped around her famous hips. Yet much of her ongoing allure centers on how she transcended her role as a sex symbol in many ways.
For example, Baker served as a dedicated member of the French resistance during World War II: her undercover work apparently included smuggling secret messages written on her music sheets. The French government eventually awarded her the prestigious Chevalier of the Legion of Honor award for her hard work and dedication.
On another front, in the 1950s, she began to adopt children of different races, predating Angelina Jolie's international adoptive clan by decades. The result was a "rainbow tribe" to prove that "children of different ethnicities and religions could still be brothers"; she would adopt twelve children in all, to whom she was known as the "Universal Mother."
Yet there seems to be ever more to learn about this extraordinary woman. Last week, one of Baker's adopted sons, Jean-Claude Baker, hosted a lavish dinner honoring his mother's birthday (she would have been 104 years old) at his landmark New York City restaurant, Chez Josephine. During a spirited toast, Monsieur Baker alluded to the fact that Josephine had been a seminal ambassador for some of France's most important - and struggling - design houses after the second World War: a now largely-forgotten fact.
After the dinner, I sat with Monsieur Baker under an enormous oil painting of the nude Josephine (those divine legs! those gorgeous breasts!), and he told me more about the important role Baker played in the world of post-war fashion.
Below, Jean-Claude Baker talks about how Josephine became a savior of the House of Dior, who really invented that deliciously scandalous string of bananas, and how she became a "guest editor" at Vogue (without the editors ever knowing it).
* * *
Lesley Blume: You mentioned that Josephine Baker was one of the earliest ambassadors for French haute couture. Tell me more.
Jean-Claude Baker: Yes, she was, especially after the second World War. France was very poor; there was no money to promote French haute couture. Josephine was a very good friend of Christian Dior and Pierre Balmain, and they loved to dress her. And when Josephine came back to American in 1949 - 50, she was wearing -- in a show, onstage -- those fabulous dresses. Americans were absolutely fascinated.
2010-06-04-Bakerwhitegown.jpg
There came a very big book about Dior a few years ago, and that big Dior event at the Metropolitan - Princess Diana was there -- and I went to [the] Dior [people] and I said, 'You don't even have a dress of Josephine's, you don't even have a picture. You should be ashamed.' They told me that there had been a flood in the basement of the building and they had lost all of the materials.
So no one remembers now that Josephine was the one to revive French haute couture after the war.
LMMB: What happened to the clothing from the other designers?
JCB: Everything is gone because Josephine gave all the costumes to a transvestite. Those fabulous costumes are in some Fort Lauderdale drag queen place, or Paris or Hong Kong.
LMMB: Tell me a little bit about her most famous costume: the bananas.
JCB: Well, you cannot talk about Josephine without mentioning them. Jean Cocteau claimed that his lover made the costume, but it was actually made by [iconic designer] Paul Poiret's lover. Monsieur Christian was his name.
2010-06-04-Bakerbananas.jpg
LMMB: You hinted that Josephine herself was a bit of a fashion designer.
JCB: When Josephine arrived in Paris, Paul Poiret invited her to a private [show]. The first model came out; not a word [from her]. The second model came; not a word. People were very shocked, saying 'Who does she think she is?' She said, 'Could I have a piece of paper and a pen?' Then she designed the dress and she added some fringes. Everybody was humiliated and Paul Poiret said, 'Thank you, Josephine. You are hired. This dress should have had two more row[s] of fringes. I will call this dress La Robe Josephine Baker.'
When she was traveling in America, from show to show by train, while the other girls were talking silly about boys or whatever, Josephine would look at Vogue magazine -- and all of the white fashion magazines -- and with a pencil, she would correct all of the drawings.
LMMB: What can women today learn from Josephine Baker?
JCB: If you believe in yourself, you can make whatever you want, dress however you want. Do not follow the trend. Follow your own inner voice. That's what Josephine did all her life. She showed up in Paris and cut her hair, almost like the French men who show their part on the side. The other chorus girls said, 'She has no self-proudness,' but Josephine said, 'Look, the people love it.' She was a trendsetter - and to be a trendsetter, you cannot be a little lamb. You have a break the rules."
by Lesley M. M. Blume, The Huffington Post
" Some style icons never go out of fashion, and Josephine Baker is one of them. Thanks to her chocolate-colored skin, Baker was a second-class citizen in her native America -- but on the stages of 1920s Paris, she became the toast of the continent, even receiving some 1,500 marriage proposals.
Today most people remember this performer for her dances at the Folies-Bergère, in which she wore nothing but a string of bananas draped around her famous hips. Yet much of her ongoing allure centers on how she transcended her role as a sex symbol in many ways.
For example, Baker served as a dedicated member of the French resistance during World War II: her undercover work apparently included smuggling secret messages written on her music sheets. The French government eventually awarded her the prestigious Chevalier of the Legion of Honor award for her hard work and dedication.
On another front, in the 1950s, she began to adopt children of different races, predating Angelina Jolie's international adoptive clan by decades. The result was a "rainbow tribe" to prove that "children of different ethnicities and religions could still be brothers"; she would adopt twelve children in all, to whom she was known as the "Universal Mother."
Yet there seems to be ever more to learn about this extraordinary woman. Last week, one of Baker's adopted sons, Jean-Claude Baker, hosted a lavish dinner honoring his mother's birthday (she would have been 104 years old) at his landmark New York City restaurant, Chez Josephine. During a spirited toast, Monsieur Baker alluded to the fact that Josephine had been a seminal ambassador for some of France's most important - and struggling - design houses after the second World War: a now largely-forgotten fact.
After the dinner, I sat with Monsieur Baker under an enormous oil painting of the nude Josephine (those divine legs! those gorgeous breasts!), and he told me more about the important role Baker played in the world of post-war fashion.
Below, Jean-Claude Baker talks about how Josephine became a savior of the House of Dior, who really invented that deliciously scandalous string of bananas, and how she became a "guest editor" at Vogue (without the editors ever knowing it).
* * *
Lesley Blume: You mentioned that Josephine Baker was one of the earliest ambassadors for French haute couture. Tell me more.
Jean-Claude Baker: Yes, she was, especially after the second World War. France was very poor; there was no money to promote French haute couture. Josephine was a very good friend of Christian Dior and Pierre Balmain, and they loved to dress her. And when Josephine came back to American in 1949 - 50, she was wearing -- in a show, onstage -- those fabulous dresses. Americans were absolutely fascinated.
2010-06-04-Bakerwhitegown.jpg
There came a very big book about Dior a few years ago, and that big Dior event at the Metropolitan - Princess Diana was there -- and I went to [the] Dior [people] and I said, 'You don't even have a dress of Josephine's, you don't even have a picture. You should be ashamed.' They told me that there had been a flood in the basement of the building and they had lost all of the materials.
So no one remembers now that Josephine was the one to revive French haute couture after the war.
LMMB: What happened to the clothing from the other designers?
JCB: Everything is gone because Josephine gave all the costumes to a transvestite. Those fabulous costumes are in some Fort Lauderdale drag queen place, or Paris or Hong Kong.
LMMB: Tell me a little bit about her most famous costume: the bananas.
JCB: Well, you cannot talk about Josephine without mentioning them. Jean Cocteau claimed that his lover made the costume, but it was actually made by [iconic designer] Paul Poiret's lover. Monsieur Christian was his name.
2010-06-04-Bakerbananas.jpg
LMMB: You hinted that Josephine herself was a bit of a fashion designer.
JCB: When Josephine arrived in Paris, Paul Poiret invited her to a private [show]. The first model came out; not a word [from her]. The second model came; not a word. People were very shocked, saying 'Who does she think she is?' She said, 'Could I have a piece of paper and a pen?' Then she designed the dress and she added some fringes. Everybody was humiliated and Paul Poiret said, 'Thank you, Josephine. You are hired. This dress should have had two more row[s] of fringes. I will call this dress La Robe Josephine Baker.'
When she was traveling in America, from show to show by train, while the other girls were talking silly about boys or whatever, Josephine would look at Vogue magazine -- and all of the white fashion magazines -- and with a pencil, she would correct all of the drawings.
LMMB: What can women today learn from Josephine Baker?
JCB: If you believe in yourself, you can make whatever you want, dress however you want. Do not follow the trend. Follow your own inner voice. That's what Josephine did all her life. She showed up in Paris and cut her hair, almost like the French men who show their part on the side. The other chorus girls said, 'She has no self-proudness,' but Josephine said, 'Look, the people love it.' She was a trendsetter - and to be a trendsetter, you cannot be a little lamb. You have a break the rules."
Friday, October 8, 2010
October AWARENESS month 2010
Dear peeps,
it's October 2010 and the month is dedicated to Health Awareness. With this note I just like to ask all of you to take a stand for a health issue or a relevant cause that you personally believe in. Unfortunately, we are living in a time of too many incurable diseases, but on the other hand there are risks that you may decrease simply by being informed about.
I would like to raise my voice for Diabetes awareness.
I don't want to flood you with pages and articles about diabetes. There are thousands of sources that you could use to read and learn about diabetes symptoms and treatment. I'm asking you to be responsible to the information you find and make sure you take an action on time.
However, I would like to share a few basic tips to stay healthy and/or to have a good future living with diabetes:
1. BE FIT: do some sports / make a daily walk through the park / stretch or dance even if you have no where to do it, but under the shower. KEEP MOVING!
2. EAT WELL: supply your body with varied food / make sure you deliver your body the complete range of supplements it needs / take vitamins during the autumn
2.1. Living with Diabetes Type 1 allows you to consume sugar, but you must take good care of your diet plan and measure your blood sugar regularly.
2.2. Diabetes Type 2 is better maintained without consuming sugar. Of course, there are plenty of substitutes on the market that replace chocolate, but make sure you consume only as much as your diet allows. A little hint: CINNAMON is highly recommended to diabetics in order to decrease the levels of their blood sugar. Bonus tip: Avoid gape & beans.
3. REGULAR BLOOD TESTS: It is recommended to have some blood examines at least once a year.
THANK YOU FOR READING THIS!
TAKE CARE AND BE SAFE!
ANNA
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Don't Let Go
She hold so hard to him, so hard she made him ache and still she never let him go. She tore his skin with her baby nails. She stuck her fingers deeper in his flesh - she tought they could live as one. He bled for too long, but she refused to let him go. Her little muscles pump so tense. Her hands began to shiver from the tighten grip & still she refused to let him go. Her shoulders got so hard. The bones within her neck began to multiply. She lost her sleep at night - the pain in her back never let her blink. She even couldn’t turn aside - the left part of her chest began to freeze...But still she refused to let him go. And though her body didn't feel so well, she push harder to become a part of him - she insert herself to be his backbone. And finally she reached him from the inside - she found a womb to grow. And yes, in there it felt so warm; it felt just like real home. But oh, she was so tired from the act. She felt so small and couldn't move at all. Her shine just fade away, no one see her beauty anymore. She traded her world to be a part of him and it was home - she still refused to let it go. Her life turned out to be a supporting system of vanity. She kept him proud and tall, she never let him fall. She did all she could to save him good. And she just felt so right, cooperating on his flight. The days just flew so fast, they survived all the past. And they lived together just like birds, but her back never stop to hurts. The days were fine even without her special shine, but at night she couldn’t blink – an angel with a broken wing.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Sanity is subjective ...
Madness?
Insanity?
Craziness?
Paranoia ... Schizophrenia
Reading Wikipedia articles won’t really teach you as much as my alter ego could.
But don't bother so much for my diagnose. My head is like a tin can full of tahini halva* and lokum* - sweet and exotic thoughts from the Orient. You force to open my head. You want to explore the unknown. Just like a can opener, your words press down over my top of existance. Shall I struggle? Shall I return the favor?
What's in your head? It's a mystery to your mother and father, but to me it's all visible through the uncracked skull. A green young brain at the size of a marble...or even smaller?! I can see it all clear - a pea bean. Really? Is that big your sanity? Is your reality that ripe? Don't make me laugh! Your universe is a joke!
Somebody give you the definition for “mad” and you easily label people around, like bottles of milk in your daddy’s supermarket.
How many stamps of “love” have you licked for your collection of envelopes? Licked? … I mean, you suck!
____________________________________________________________________
*tahini halva - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halva#Bulgaria
*lokum, a.k.a. turkish delight - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkish_delight
I'm a Big, Big Girl in a BIG, BIG World...to live a dream!
So, all you people out there, breathing your dreams, stop being so judgmental about theirs. Your choices get chances, so just everybody does.
You chose to serve in favor of society – inhale your dose of fresh air and get closer to God.
And they may chose to serve in honor of ART…serve in the name of LOVE…serve to their own good – than they should grab the veil from their angle and get higher.
We are all on the right track of our dreams.
There is no “better”! Insanity is dogmatic. Madness is a term that encourages the masses, drunken with ignorance, to stand against geniality.
Your reality won’t defeat their surrealism. And their cosmos of dreams won’t harm your room. There’s a lot of space for everyone …
Stop pointing fingers at the different ones, while claiming to be different than the others. Regular or irregular – take the measures on your own scales and RESPECT others big jumps. If you are afraid to break some bones, don’t hate those who aren’t, just take pride of your weak selves and giggle once they fall and bruise. But do not laugh too hard, because some are brave enough to turn their insides out and walk the streets with no shame of their bleeding flash. If only we could all be just that opened… Open minded. Open hearted … Cut open.
GIF animations generator gifup.com
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Society against Individuals
*Should a woman who doesn't want any kids (EVER) be obligated from family and society to change her mind? Does the motherhood come from the womb or from the
heart? Could a loner raise a lover? Would both parent and child find happiness, ever?
*Would it be wrong to set an age limit for IVF (in vitro fertalization)? What hurts more: a bruised ego or a maimed life?
*Should homosexuality be denied from religion? Is human's hypocrisy sacral enough to speak on behalf of God's will?
*Should the kind ignorance rise a voice for literacy?
*Does a wound hurt more if we know it would never heal? Does pain bring us down or just give us the strengths to rise above...above it all? Doesn't the spirit go higher only when we feel lower?
*How big is your sky?
heart? Could a loner raise a lover? Would both parent and child find happiness, ever?
*Would it be wrong to set an age limit for IVF (in vitro fertalization)? What hurts more: a bruised ego or a maimed life?
*Should homosexuality be denied from religion? Is human's hypocrisy sacral enough to speak on behalf of God's will?
*Should the kind ignorance rise a voice for literacy?
*Does a wound hurt more if we know it would never heal? Does pain bring us down or just give us the strengths to rise above...above it all? Doesn't the spirit go higher only when we feel lower?
*How big is your sky?
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
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